Opening Reflection
“You can’t pour from an empty cup.” We tell this to others so easily, yet often forget it applies to us too. For many school and MAT leaders we’ve supported, the first half of this academic year has felt like a relentless sprint, one that not even Usain Bolt could have easily finished! Targets, the revised Ofsted framework, recruitment crises, budgets, and both local and global politics impacting communities, it’s easy to see why, with just over a month to go before the end of term, many are already exhausted and nowhere near the finish line. But as we know, and as we seek to remind those we support, leadership at its heart isn’t solely about momentum. It’s not about keeping going at all costs. It’s about presence. And presence requires stillness.
When we lead without pausing, we lose the inner ground from which wise decisions grow. Our empathy thins, perspective narrows and capacity to see, to really see and to respond from a place of deep wisdom begins to fade. We experience an inner distancing, an inner dissonance, that can lead us to become strangers to ourselves and to those we lead.
Depth Coaching: Lessons from the Field
I recall a headteacher I once coached who said, “I can’t remember the last time I stopped to breathe.” For her, rushing from one thing to the next had become the norm. She believed that being busy and being seen to be busy equated to effectiveness. She had normalised not listening to herself, pushing her body to the limit, unaware that her behaviour was driven by an age-old script long past its sell-by date. Those around her praised her for her ability to keep going, but neither they nor she realised how damaging this was. Until that is … we began to work together.
Through gentle questioning, she began to uncover why she felt the need to keep pushing, why she had normalised never taking a break, never allowing herself to breathe. Working at depth, she discovered another, more whole version of herself that had long been waiting in the wings; a version that knew how to lead in ways that didn’t compromise her health or wellbeing. This version of herself understood that sometimes the most courageous act of leadership is to stop long enough to meet yourself anew; to know yourself differently, so that you can lead with greater depth and authenticity.
Depth Coaching: An Overview
From ‘Learning to Walk in the Dark’
I painted this image below around six months after my cancer surgery. Having had returned to work, but somewhere deep inside, I knew that emotionally and psychologically, I was still healing. I was learning to walk in the dark.
As with all my paintings, I had no conscious idea of what would emerge on the canvas. Yet when this one was complete, I sensed a quiet message from my inner self:
“A new dawn awaits, but you are still going through a process of purification.”
For those familiar with Jungian psychology, you’ll know that fire is often seen as a symbol of purification; a burning away of what no longer serves us: old habits, thoughts, beliefs, and patterns of being.
Perhaps that’s why fire appeared in so many of my paintings after surgery. Each one seemed to whisper, “Transformation is happening, even if you can’t yet see the light.”
So, my invitation to you is this: Spend a few moments reflecting on this image. What does it reveal to you about how we learn to navigate the darkness? And what, in your own leadership journey, might you be invited to purify or release?
“To truly navigate the darkness, we must release the familiar moorings and embrace new ways of being.” (Viv Grant, Learning to Walk in the Dark)
Both my personal and professional experiences have taught me that when we are depleted and feel as though we can no longer go on, there is an inner disposition we must adopt.
Stillness can feel uncomfortable at first. It asks us to sit with uncertainty rather than fix it, to feel rather than rationalise. Yet it’s precisely here in the pause —that we begin to tune into a deeper inner wisdom.
And with time, that wisdom leads us gently toward a new dawn.
Reflective Practice for the Week
• Pause for one minute before each meeting. Close your eyes. Notice your breath.
• Ask yourself: “What does this moment really need from me, doing, or being?”
• Write down one word that captures your inner state each morning. Watch what patterns emerge.
You may be surprised to discover how much is going on in your inner world that is calling for your attention.
Invitation
You are on a unique journey. The path you are treading is yours alone. How you navigate your path, the hills, the valleys, the woods, and the forests, will depend, in large part, on how well you know yourself.
My gift to you
As a gift to you, I’d like to share my FREE ‘Staying A Head : Stop, Pause and Reflect Guide for Headteachers’ Reflective Practice Guide . To receive your free downloadable copy of this, please simply email Hannah Dalton, Head of Client Relations Hannah@integritycoaching.co.uk
At Integrity Coaching, we are here to help you lead with greater depth and connection to who you truly wish to be in your role. To find out more about our unique Depth Coaching approach, please visit www.integritycoaching.co.uk
